everyone in my life is fake

When you're encompassing with some problems.. You will automatically know which of your friends or family members are fake.. "Fake" means they are like.. Never existed in your life before but you thought they were! I can't wait for next year to come.. Where I can start my own new life and leaving all those fucking problems here.. What for that I’m still staying in Kuching? It makes no difference at all whether that I’m staying here or Melbourne.. Cause my leaving wouldn’t cause any unhappiness to anyone here.. And I’m sure about that..


I still can joke whenever that I was sad in the previous moments.. Even when my friend and aunty left this world.. But currently.. It’s outside of my capabilities to do so… my face expressions are numb.. I’m not getting angry easily nor getting happy easily.. All that they know is that I’ve get rid of my bad temper but they don’t even care whether I’m sad or happy… As long as they have their own new friends and spouses.. I am nothing but a stranger..


Do you know the feelings of crying but no tears coming out? It’s called numb! All the pressures that my mum gives me is already sufficient for me to commit suicide.. now.. friends problems again.. You say you are happy because I’m leaving on June next year instead of February… I was happy for your words indeed.. Now that I know.. everything is fake.. They never exist right?


I decided to talk alone here like a moron cause I don’t have any mood to do anything.. Law test is on next week and I’m still doing nothing today.. Gonna force myself to study really hard.. Now that I realized.. The best friends of mine are only BOOKS.. nothing more.. That’s what my mum wants me to do.. No good results cannot be her daughter right? I hate asking questions where I wouldn’t get any answers from it.. But what can I do other than this? There isn’t any ears for me anymore.. 2011.. come faster!


Now my condition is like this:


And.. I need this:


Well.. Jokes are desperately needed though you're sad.. haha

The Starting of My Degree LIfe

I've waited for the college to reopen for quite a while already... Holiday was fun but I enjoy studying and socializing at the same time.. There wasn't any new update recently as school re-open means no outing for me except for lunch or dinner with my friends.. I'm not a good blogger i thought.. My blog is not as inspiring as others, not containing any deep feelings either.. Maybe I just meant to be a comedian since I was born? Laugh is the main thing for me to carry on my everyday life I suppose.. I laugh when i'm sad, when i'm angry, when i'm happy.. (Just being a weirdo).. This will be the most boring post in the universe as I really have no idea what to be sharing about here.. I just.. don't feeling happy today I guess..? All that I want to say is don't worry, be happy no matter what happened to you guys.. Life goes on.. Be it a happy life or sucky life.. It's all in your hands.. *cheers*

Happy Chap Goh Meh People!

Chap Goh Meh.. The ending of Chinese New Year.. The ending of taking angpau.. The ending of firecrackers(finally!).. Me and my family never celebrated Chap Goh Meh before until this year! I was quite happy over it but we're celebrating without my dearest brother cause he's in Thailand now.. I miss him so much(as well as his presents! Shhh)..

Having a SUCKY Steamboat

My friend, Ah Yew is going back to KL on this Saturday as his school is re-opening soon after Chinese New Year.. So, he's asking us for a steamboat meal before he leaves.. He decided that we should have our steamboat at the steamboat restaurant behind Hornbill which is near to Kuching High secondary school there.. As expected, the kepo Yew Ling keeps saying that maybe we should change our dining place to Hornbill over BDC there (as usual, he likes to be the head of our outing plans desperately!) He said we can have our steamboat meal with only RM18 and the drinks are included! Isit possible? I mean who doesn't know "Hornbill".. It's impossible to have such price alright? Since he says that he is so damn SURE about the price, so why not? I'm having terrible traffic-jam on the way heading to BDC as there will always be a lot of police checking over the drivers near my house area.. At least I can be sure about something, I've turn into a mature girl of 19 years old as the police always stopped me and saying that I look like one who don't have a license! Now, not anymore! =)

As everyone knows, traffic-jam is always making us feel like we want to say out the word "fu**" and I am so going to scold that guy if the steamboat doesn't cost me only RM18!
Clement is taking the foods non-stop and eat until he feels like vomiting...
Still taking the food non-stop! OMG
And he's a 'lasap sio' too! ><
See how disgusting is his bowl or something...
I love this though it takes me quite a long time to make sure that it's really cooked.. Hey, guys NEED this okay.. It's good for your... Erm.. The part that will make you proud..
Our favorite among all the food available.. This is so damn nice! I don't know what is Ah Yew's recipe for making his soup super disgusting.. Ewww

He's a prawn lover!
Here's a watermelon's lover.. see how much watermelon did she took...
I am somehow impressed with her!
Mine looks healthier =)
It makes us feel that this place concern about hygiene so much as everyone is having an individual steamboat boiling thing (I don't know what it's called) but actually it's not! Cockroaches are appearing everywhere! GOSH
Group photo without Agnes cause she's holding the cam.. My hair is messy because of the stupid big fan and the water sprayer stuffs...
This is it!
Now Agnes's in..

After we enjoyed our meal, we ended up paying RM26.80.. Yew Ling is speechless.. I always know that he's only good at bluffing and talk without caring about others' feelings... He's a stupid dumb, trust me.. I know it sounds bad but I talk whatever I like in my blog =) I also know that it sounds ridiculous if i add in *no offense* as somebody always do (so fake) The boss/manager/supervisor or whatsoever charged us with more expensive price as he's saying that we were wasting over the foods but how can he expects us to finish the leftover spoil foods? He said that he will check if the foods are really spoiled and will give us 5% discounts.. We waited there for some quite time and he just ignored us.. What a "great' place as suggested by Yew Ling.. People often ignore us because we look '19'!

Starbucks and 'Ma Zhong' Park with my BFF's

Gonna start my post with pictures this time.. Guess you guys wouldn't want to waste your time reading all the 'loso' things..

Spend 2 Ringgits to let the fishes to splash waters on us.. They just get too hungry.. poor things..

See how loving we are..
Xin Yi wants to try some fish's foods too...
Feed feed feed =)

'o lang' is kicking the ball...
Why are my eyes closing? Too dizzy already isit?

She wants to treat the fishes with Starbucks' coffee...

Zheng He! By the way, who is that?

Copying Zheng He...
Welcome to Malaysia!

Aiseh.. Xin Yi's becoming Miss Sarawak soon...

One busy jogging, one busy drinking...

Gonna throw our problems away as how we are throwing these bags...

I like the environment here... It makes me feel so calm...

Enjoying the water splash sounds is making me so calm and feel like i'm away from the city... That's why i like to go near the beaches, lakes, ponds, or even pools since i was small..

Today Yvonne is asking me and Xin Yi to meet at Starbucks as we are not having 'girls talk' for a long time already... We three should have lots of things to share about as we usually can talk non-stop when we meet each other... We started the conversation by talking about our friends and was quite sad cause many of our couple friends are breaking up lately and now only left Yvonne and Lesley.. I realised something.. I was too selfish.. I thought if all my friends are staying single like me, i would be happy cause they will have more time for me but actually i was wrong.. I feel sad for them as well.. And i hope that she and Les can be together forever... Seeing them two in such condition as today really making me feel like want to help them out but there's nothing much that I can do.. I was very happy that Yvonne is willing to spend her afternoon talking her problems with us but i do hope that she will spend some times for Les as well.. Sincerely... Today is a really fun day hanging out with them at Starbucks and taking a walk at Ma Zhong's Park but my health is making me quite suffering.. I didn't tell them because I don't want them to worry about me.. I just see two shadows whenever I walk but i try to take all the fun pictures and joking with them.. I really hate it cause i don't like being unconscious suddenly and when I wake up, I find myself lying at the hospital's bed like before.. I don't know what is happening to me lately.. I just feel really dizzy but i never want to go to the hospital again.. I decided not to go for a body check up no matter how.. I don't want to rely on medicines once again! I don't care what will be happening to me in the future.. All i know is I should have go through my life to the fullest and will not be regretting... Hey, am I writing any letter before I die..? Silly! Maybe i'm healthier than Barrack Obama! Well, who knows.. haha

Percy Jackson & the Lightning Thief with My National Service Friends

I'm meeting with my National Service friends as Jin, my foster brother and also one of my NS friends is calling me everyday lately so that he can meet me... He's going to work on Sunday, so I decided to ask all of our NS friends to hang out together.. or perhaps.. to have a movie... It has been AGES that we are not meeting each other and I am missing them like hell.. I miss the moments when we were bathing and singing together, sleeping together, sharing each others' problems together and so on.. I treasure every bitter and sweet time with them so so much.. However, we seldom contact each other after several months due to our busy lives... Some busy working, some busy studying until they are willing to give up their beloved.. Okay, it's me.. =X We watched Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief... It is AWESOME! So i suggest this movie to you guys.. Not suggest, you guys should really watch this movie! Just spend your 10 ringgit... It's really worthy... At first we wanted to watch CNY movies as they are quite a number of CNY movies which are quite funny and suitable to watch now as it's CNY babeh! But because of CNY, MBO is super full so i watch this movie as suggested by my brother earlier.. And no regretting at all.. *cheers* =)

One important thing: the main character (Percy) of the movie - Logan Lerman is damn CUTE!
I only took two photos of my NS friends.. They are super camera shy.. I can only take their photos secretly.. ><

My ah kor and Cat... They look like paikia cause i took this photo secretly...
Soon Ying - another paikia look's girl..

Due to the really few pictures i have for this post, I'm gonna show you my modeling photos.. (starting to be vain again)

Fifth Day of CNY With My Secondary School's Friends

I had a fun day with my secondary school's friends.. I thought today would be more boring if compared to that day when i went out with my college's friends but it turned out to be super fun! Maybe it is because that we don't have any couple between us and make us feel comfortable and free to talk anything among each other.. Having any too sweet couple in my outing group would make me feel really uncomfortable.. Like.. That day.. I really hate it when i was talking to my friend and she ended up turning away and playing with her boyfriend.. Seriously.. So, as a summary, my visiting journey with my secondary school's friends is really fun and it's all about EATING and increasing our calories! OMG... The most important thing that I realized is I will avoid going out with my friends who have a partner in the groups so that we can play more happily..

My brother says: "You should wear this if you're going to gamble!" Huat lah!
I only took one photo of our gang.. Cause Agnes's house is big enough for all of us to sit and talk together..
Two sweet mushroom heads..

Natasha's mother art work.. The whole family knows ARTS! Don't play play...
Take a break, have a Kit Kat.. Thanks to Ah Yew for bringing my favourite chocolate.. =)

After all the houses visiting, we're going to Clement's house for Barbeque! Barbeque sounds nice right? But think of the calories.. The three layers fat pork, lamb meat, nuggets, hot dogs, beer.. OMG!

The classic carbonate drinks.. My grandma's time drinks.. So nice leh!

This is the first time i learn how to use this tool to open it up.. Lame right? By the way, that's not my hands..

Eating time! Nat always want to look more 'obvious' than the others when i'm taking photos.. lol
Clement's father be the chef of the night but then grabbed by Nat them.. Those kepo ones.. haha.. Ming Ying is taking the foods non-stop.. She ain't afraid of getting fat... Cause she's going to be a sports teacher soon!
Me and Nat cutting the lamb meat.. It's energy consuming!
We will eat until we really feel like vomiting.. Trust me..
Roland, the black guy says: "faster faster! my hands are burning!"
Me and Nat.. Two 'tua pui zha bo'...
Yam Sheng!
Aiyer~ Clement's head is spoiling the whole picture!They always disturb her by saying that teachers cannot drink alcohol but Red wines are good for our health what..

But still... I prefer Beers more.. That's why i'm having 'beer stomach'.. It looks fat but it's hard when you press it..
Clement's idea.. Warm up the marshmallows and when they are melting, quickly put them into your mouths... Then you will go like mmmm mmmm mmmm!
We are going for an easy way to make them melt faster! Can't wait to put them into our mouths! Yummy~